The Stories We Tell: How Reframing Our Thoughts Shape Our Experiences
A few weeks ago, I learned my four-year-old son had something called a mesiodens — a rare, extra tooth that grows between the two front teeth. It’s something most parents (myself included) have never even heard of until they’re suddenly sitting across from an oral surgeon, discussing extraction options. I spent days worrying about how we’d make it through what sounded like a traumatic experience: anesthesia, needles, surgical tools, and novocaine.
When the surgeon mentioned they’d also be using laughing gas, I seized on that detail and created a story. I told my son that the doctor and nurse were going to “tickle” the extra tooth out. I stayed committed to that narrative, even when it was challenged by his older brother. I repeated it with confidence in the days leading up to the procedure until it seemed I had his full buy in.
When the morning arrived, the nurse graciously played along—pretending to “tickle” while the doctor administered novocaine with a rather large needle (three times!) and then carefully extracted not just the supernumerary tooth but two baby teeth, as well. And through it all, my son stayed completely calm sitting in my lap to everyone’s complete surprise. He had grown to believe so deeply in the “tickle narrative” that his nervous system relaxed into the experience. Later, when people asked him about it, he proudly told them how the dentist had tickled his tooth right out.
I felt relieved and also reflective-- it was a powerful reminder of mind over matter.
Now, I’m not suggesting magical thinking or pretending hard things aren’t hard. But I am always struck by how much our beliefs shape our experience. As parents, we get to witness this in real time—our children’s minds are so resilient, so open, so able to reframe.
And it’s not all that different from what happens in therapy.
When Clients Ask, “Does Changing My Thoughts Really Work?”
It’s a question that arises frequently in therapy—whether reframing the thoughts we return to again and again can meaningfully impact feelings of anxiety, sadness, or fear. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is built on the understanding that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are interconnected—that changing one can change the others.
When we hold a certain belief (“I can’t handle this,” “Something terrible will happen,” “I’m not good enough”), our bodies respond accordingly—heart rate increases, muscles tense, anxiety spikes. But when we start to challenge and reframe those beliefs (“I’ve handled things before,” “I have the resources to handle what comes next,” our physiological state shifts. The nervous system softens, and the body follows the mind’s lead.
In that moment, my son’s belief in the “tickle narrative” became his reality- his mind led, and his emotional and physical experience followed. It was in many ways a vivid illustration of CBT—showing how a small shift in perspective can reshape both our physical and emotional experience.
Again, the goal is not to deny reality or minimize pain; it simply invites us to see that our interpretation of events holds enormous power. We can’t always control what happens, but we can influence how we experience it.
A Final Reflection
Whether it’s a child believing in a dentist’s ability to “tickle a tooth out” or an adult learning to reframe anxious thoughts, the same truth applies: the mind is an incredible ally when we learn how to engage it.
Therapy helps strengthen this connection—teaching us to observe our thoughts, challenge distortions, and build narratives that support healing rather than reinstall fear.
Because sometimes, the stories we tell ourselves aren’t just stories.
They’re the bridge between tension and trust, distress and resilience, and from reactivity to response.
If you are interested in learning more about the stories you tell yourself and how they may influence your emotional and physical experiences, I would love to connect. Book a consultation to learn more.