Why EMDR Isn’t Just a Buzzword—And How It Can Help You Heal
A mindful, step-by-step look at what EMDR actually is and why it works
You’ve probably heard about EMDR—maybe in a podcast, on social media, from someone quietly doing the work, or more recently from, Miley Cyrus, who credited it with “saving [her] life.”
But EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) isn’t just a trend. It’s a powerful, research-backed approach that helps reprocess painful memories, shift stuck beliefs, and offer lasting relief.
As an EMDR-trained therapist who specializes in anxiety, complex trauma, and women’s mental health, I use EMDR often—because it works. But before I became a therapist, I worked in a trauma and psychophysiology research lab. That experience taught me just how deeply stress and trauma live in the body—not just as memories or emotions, but as ingrained nervous system responses that keep us reactive, disconnected, or constantly on edge. These responses often shape our current behavior without us even realizing it.
What makes EMDR different is that it doesn’t rely solely on talk therapy. It helps your brain reprocess experiences that are still “stuck,” so they stop feeling so emotionally charged—and you stop feeling so hijacked by the past. When a memory becomes fully processed, your nervous system no longer reacts as if you’re still in danger. And that’s when lasting change can happen. Patterns like avoidance, people-pleasing, shut down, or being overly alert begin to soften—because they’re no longer fueled by unprocessed past experiences. Instead of reacting from fear or habit, you begin responding from a more grounded, present place.
Here’s what that process actually looks like, step by step:
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1. History Taking
We begin by exploring your story—what brings you to therapy, what’s feeling heavy or hard, and what patterns you want to shift. Together, we identify past experiences and beliefs that may be contributing to the current challenges—things like perfectionism, people-pleasing, emotional shutdown, or anxiety.
This phase is about building connection and clarity—not diving into trauma, but understanding the map so we know where we’re headed.
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2. Preparation
Before any trauma processing happens, we build a strong foundation. This is where you learn regulation tools, grounding strategies, and mindfulness techniques to help you stay in your window of tolerance. As a trauma-informed therapist, I know that your system needs to feel safe in order to heal.
This phase is all about finding what actually works for you. For example, while the “container” visualization is commonly used to help clients feel in control of intrusive thoughts, it doesn’t resonate with everyone. I’ve had clients for whom a physical container—something we can write on slips of paper and close shut together—feels far more effective. EMDR isn’t one-size-fits-all. We co-create your toolkit.
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3. Assessment
Once you feel resourced and ready, we choose a specific memory or experience to target. We identify:
• the image or moment that represents the worst part,
• the negative belief attached to it (like “I’m not safe” or “I’m not good enough”),
• the emotions and body sensations it brings up, and
• and what you want to believe instead (such as “I am safe now” or “I am enough”).
This process sets the stage for reprocessing. It helps your brain begin to access the memory in a contained and guided way—while also establishing where you’re headed emotionally and cognitively.
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4. Desensitization
This is the phase most people associate with EMDR. Using bilateral stimulation (eye movements, tapping, or auditory tones), we activate both sides of the brain while focusing on the target memory.
People sometimes worry that EMDR will “unlock” suppressed memories or overwhelm them. But this isn’t hypnosis. You’re fully in control the entire time. That said, it is incredible how the brain naturally connects stored memories—sometimes ones you hadn’t realized were linked. That’s where the healing happens.
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5. Installation
Once the distress tied to the memory has decreased, we strengthen the positive belief you want to hold.
This isn’t toxic positivity or wishful thinking. It’s about anchoring in something emotionally true—something your nervous system can actually accept.
In traditional CBT, clients often tell me they know what they “should” believe. But with EMDR, we’re not just thinking—we’re feeling it. It’s powerful to witness someone go from intellectually knowing “I am enough” to actually believing it—in their mind and in their body.
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6. Body Scan
Trauma lives in the body. Even after cognitive and emotional distress has faded, the body may still hold tension, fear, or “residue.”
In this phase, we scan the body for leftover sensations. Is your jaw still tight? Is your chest heavy? Are your hands clenched? We process whatever remains with bilateral stimulation, helping your body integrate the healing.
This step matters. Without attending to the somatic layer, trauma can stay lodged—even when you think you’ve worked through it. The body scan helps us clear what’s unspoken but still held.
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7. Closure
Every session ends with stabilization. Whether we complete a full reprocessing or pause halfway through, we always come back to grounding techniques that leave you feeling regulated, safe, and emotionally steady. No one should leave therapy feeling flooded.
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8. Reevaluation
At the start of the next session, we check in: How does that memory feel now? What has shifted? What still needs attention?
It isn’t always linear and that is important to remember. Sometimes new information or channels emerge, or insights unfold between sessions. EMDR recognizes this. And because resourcing is built in from the beginning, clients have tools to manage what surfaces between sessions, too.
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Healing Is Possible
EMDR isn’t magic—but it is profound. Whether you’re navigating anxiety, feeling emotionally underwater, or tired of repeating old patterns, it offers a path forward.
It helps you remember without reliving, feel without flooding, and show up in your life with more calm, clarity, and presence.
If you’re curious whether EMDR might be right for you, I’d love to connect and talk more.